she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
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He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
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Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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