On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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