made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize