Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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