I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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