dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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