last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Oh god it's open bar.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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