So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize