1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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