I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize