her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize