the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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