You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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