Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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