the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
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I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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