Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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