and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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