Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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