My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize