I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
this just has baby written all over it
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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