I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize