so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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