I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
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I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
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I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
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