Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize