Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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