I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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