Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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