Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize