My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
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he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
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We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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