Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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