wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize