just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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