Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize