you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we still banned from the library?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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