why didn't you poke me back
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
me + whiskey = a bad person
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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