This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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