So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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