Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
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The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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