so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You're earring is so big in my mouth
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I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
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Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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