I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
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Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
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He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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