You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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