I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
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Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
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You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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