so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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