Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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