This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize