well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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