if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize