; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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