It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
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I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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