if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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